For some of us, remotes are like juggling balls, meant to be tossed and circulated until everything is powered up, at the right volume, and on the right channel. In some cases the very wise contain this plethora of controllers in a nearby container, so they’re easily found. For the rest of us who chose to hone our scavenger-hunting skills, managing home entertainment is a daily exercise. But what about one remote to rule them all and in the darkness bind them?! ESPN is claiming to have done just that with their Ultimate Remote (yes, they actually chose to call their product the Ultimate...sigh…). So what makes a remote so awesomely Ultimate (perhaps only surpassable by some sort of Ultimate Extreme)?

Well, for starters it connects to the ‘net, offering a whole host of features, including access to an electronic program guide for TV listings, email, weather, and even text messaging options. Furthermore, the remote will be capable of updating wirelessly for new home entertainment equipment, providing a degree of adaptability other universal (and somewhat less than ultimate) remotes lack. ESPN claims that the remote will also stand as a “programmable learning remote with advanced macro activities,” suggesting a degree of customization and intuitiveness as well. As for power (and I think we can all attest to the tediousness of replacing remote batters) the Ultimate Remote will feature a rechargeable lithium-ion battery with accompanying charging cradle.

As you may have guessed, the prime target for such a device is the sports-fanatic demographic and as such the do-all remote offers real-time access to sports standings/ scores, as well as sports news and fantasy league information. And despite the so called “advanced Windows operating system” built-in, the remote does not require a PC or MIT degree to setup or operate.

The wunderkind remote retails at $299 and is available just in time for father’s day. Because Dad’s need yet another reason to not leave the basement and clean out those eaves troughs that are sending water down the side of the house and staining your nice clean windows…coming honey

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